ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize