There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize