dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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