What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
