i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize