Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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