I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
