Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
