We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
