ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize