I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
