Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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