Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize