Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
