She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think I won the penis lottery.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
