don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
