smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
