I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
