Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
