i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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