I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
