You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
