who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i need to put some appletini on your dick
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
