I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
