Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
