You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I am never drinking with the goths again.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
