How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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