oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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