I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
