I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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