whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize