I feel great
I just peed on a car
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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