planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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