we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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