I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I have post one night stand depression
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
