if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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