I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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