Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
