so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
