I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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