i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
