I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
