I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
