Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
