On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
