She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
