u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
you never un-have a 4some
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
