grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
