We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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