He is such a slut. More and more my type.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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