I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
