You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
