The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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