Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
