She's JV to your varsity
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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