shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
