You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
