Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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