I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
