Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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